It took how long to get home from NY?!? A lesson in disguise…

So I’m all about the lessons.  Hey, if I’m going to make mistakes – which I am prone to do – then I want to be able to share them so someone can learn from them.  So as I said last week, I was headed to NY at the end of the week.  I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep – just like when I was a little kid.  It was great.  There was the one-armed angel in the city…

 

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There were bagels, Greek diners, and a most beautiful view at the dock…

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 I mean, how gorgeous is that sky? And that water? I could sit there very literally all day long.  Do you know what makes it even better?  There is an excellent possibility that I saw the house used in the filming of The Great Gatsby…

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Okay, so it’s hard to tell in the picture, but it’s the house right in the middle of the picture.  And seeing as how it’s one of my favorite books and subsequently is one of my favorite movies that I’ve watched at least 10 tens, I’d say it’s a good chance that it was Gatsby’s house.  Pure excitement for an F. Scott Fitzgerald fan like me – you could say I nearly went a little fangirl.  

And if that wasn’t enough, I made a new friend…

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Ah, New York pigeons – they are quite brash.  This little guy just kept walking back and forth in front of me, except when I’d take out my phone to get a picture he’d start hauling ass and I’d get a blurry picture.  I caught him off guard for this one.  Or maybe he just let me.  I don’t know, but like I said, I’ve got a new friend.

So where does this lesson come in?  Ah, the lesson.  So to get from my place to my stop in New York, it takes about 2 1/2 – 3 hours depending on how screwy the George Washington Bridge is.  That’s not bad at all.  That’s just a little longer than getting out to Gettysburg.  No problem.  No problem until the return home that is.  

I have never experienced that much traffic…in…my…life… Every time we got to a new stretch of road, it would be backed up.  The George Washington bridge? That mother was backed up for an hour!  The turnpike? Hmm… Another hour! In total, it took close to 6 hours to get home with a quick stop for dinner.  O…M…G…

Now if you know me at all, you know how I get impatient behind the wheel.  I drive like my father and  have the patience behind the wheel of my mother.  You wanna cut me off?  Go ahead, act a fool because I have no problems showing you my displeasure, if you know what I mean, while laying on the horn.  You’re not paying attention and creating traffic issues?  I’ll have a few words for you.  Not being able to go, go, go in my pretty little Mustang?  I come close to popping a blood vessel.  It’s not pretty.  None of its pretty.

So once we got through the second traffic jam and were on our way into the third one, I was ready to lose it.  Like pull over, park it on the side of the road, scream obscenities at those Jersey drivers, and give up and sit there kind of lose it.  And then it hit me.  What hit me?  Stuff like this does not normally happen.  This was an abnormal driving experience that I’ve never dealt with.  Perhaps there is a lesson God is trying to teach me.  And then I thought of my impatience, my potty mouth (although it was curtailed greatly because of who I had in the car with me), and my quickness to assume that those Jersey drivers (or other people in general) are in the wrong and are causing me these issues!  Maybe this whole wicked situation was a perfect time for me to practice patience.  And then I was like, “Ah shit.  If I had thought of this sooner, maybe the car ride wouldn’t have been so bad after all…”  

Sometimes in life, there are things that we can’t change.  There are things that are out of our control.  Instead of getting angry, acting irrationally, trying to fight it, or blame others, maybe it’s a good time for us to check ourselves and our attitudes.  We can’t control other people, we can’t control other drivers on the road, and we just have to deal with it.  Dealing with not having control has been this particular control freak’s biggest issue lately.  So maybe these “road bumps” are just lessons in disguise if we look at them properly.

Bam! I just got philosophical or something on your butts.  Hope you enjoyed it.  And if a little red Mustang should ever go flying past you on the freeway with an angry looking driver, please don’t judge me too harshly, I’m working on it.  Happy Tuesday, and much love!

Whoops-a-Daisy Wednesday or I’m really going to start carrying around safety pins…

So I’ve been slacking a little lately, and although this is a good one, I was all like, “Meh, I’ll just post it tomorrow…it’ll be a whoops-a-daisy Thursday…” And then I realized how lame that is and got my lazy ass in gear to share with you my most recent WaD moment…

I feel like I’ve been traveling everywhere lately, taking a lot of road trips. Even though I haven’t taken a full vacation, all these mini vacations are pretty awesome – Atlantic City, Clarks Summit, heading to NY soon, and then there was this past weekend. I went to visit a friend who lives out really close to Gettsyburg. Now, I realize I may not have shared this with you before, but I kinda love history. I like a good museum and learning about all the stories of a historical place. Therefore, I was pumped to spend some time with my friend in Gettsyburg – there’s just so much to see and do! And while we only saw a fraction of it although we literally spent the whole day there, it presented me with my next oops moment for you all.

So I knew we were going to be walking around all day, and I planned an outfit that would stand up to all this movement – or so I thought. I was rocking some jean shorts, my shiny white converses, and this floral sleeveless shirt – so cute! Hell, I was even rocking the pigtails (it totally just went with the shirt and jean shorts thing). Needless to say, I was feeling pretty good…until we got into town. As we started walking around, I looked down and noticed that one of my buttons had popped open! And which button you ask? Well, I always leave the very top button open because I don’t want to feel like I’m being strangled. The next button down? Well, I wasn’t at work so I left that one undone. So that means that I’m talking about the third button down…the one that sits right at bra-level…

Okay, I have to admit something. Do you want to know the real reason I left the second button undone? Because that one has a habit of coming undone on its own… Oh dear. i thought that it was just because of where it was on my shirt! I had no idea that it was just the buttons on this shirt! I plead ignorance!

Well my ignorance made a fool out of me. It didn’t matter how I tried to keep it together or disguise it with the strap of my cross body purse, that motherf*er kept popping wide open… I even asked this guy at one of the museums if he had a safety pin – it was getting that bad. And do you know what makes this story even worse? It was biker weekend in Gettsyburg – meaning there were a lot of hard looking men everywhere (not saying that all bikers are rough looking, there are some non-biker dudes who are rough looking, too). The town was literally covered with bikers. And here I am flashing my goods and getting all kinds of looks… Dear sweet Jesus, when will I ever learn?

Well, I have hopefully learned my lesson now. I’m pretty sure I’m going to stick a few safety pins in my purse because they take up less room than trying to carry a roll of double stick tape. As soon as we got back to my friend’s house, I pinned myself back together (the little pink star denotes where the pinning was necessary) in order to look decent while reading her sweet baby boy a story…
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And that, my dears is a lesson for all, male or female. We should probably all have safety pins in our purses or cars or on something we’re carrying – wardrobe malfunctions can happen any where and at any time. Don’t be like me and flash some bikers…nobody wants that…

Happy hump day everyone – we made it halfway through this week! Only a few more days until the weekend, hold on! Much love!

It’s not a Whoops-a-Daisy Wednesday but a Wedding Wednesday!

I’ve been away for a while, but for a very excellent reason – my bestie got married!!!! It was an absolutely beautiful ceremony and reception – perfect weather, perfect day, and perfect company.
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And ya know one of the reasons why she’s the bestie? Because she didn’t make us wear ugly bridesmaids dresses! (And just a hint – don’t look directly at my legs. They’re so bright white that if you look directly at them, you’ll go blind. I knew I should have spray tanned or something…)

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As a matter of fact, people were making comments on how beautiful the dresses were – one woman even tried talking to me in the bathroom…like in the bathroom…after letting me take the first stall because my dress was so pretty… You know you must look good when a woman lets you go first in line at the bathroom!

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There was music (the bridal party even sang “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” to the bride and groom), dancing (cha cha slide anyone?), great food (red velvet cake…y’all know how I feel about red velvet), and booze. Lots of booze. I lost count of how many fuzzy navels I had, and I’m pretty sure the bartender started making them weaker and weaker every time I returned – either that or after 5 or 6 or 7 of them, they started tasting just like orange juice. Anyways, it was quite a party, and the bride looked so gorgeous, and the happy couple looked so elated!

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The whole purpose of a wedding is to bring two people together in front of those they love and pledge their unending support, love, and devotion to one another, right? The partying, the food, the flowers, everything else is just icing on the cake. And so, while I could spend hours regaling you on the fun of the night (like the rather interesting pick-up line, three’s company, & how I caught the bouquet) I’d rather share with you the lessons on love that can be learned from these two amazing people…

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Accidents happen. People forget things (like parts of your tuxedo/suit). And ya know what? It’s okay. Look at the bigger picture. Even though their wedding pictures were delayed, neither the bride nor the groom got upset. As a matter of fact, if I hadn’t been in the car when Michelle received the call about forgotten ties, I would never have known there was an issue to begin with. They were both too excited to bother with getting upset over it.
2. Real love is worth fighting for. Life isn’t always easy, we get curve balls thrown at us. When the road gets tough, if you really love someone, you don’t throw in the towel. If you really love someone, you work through it.
3. Love sees the good. Okay, this is a lesson me and my temper need to learn. Love doesn’t nag and nitpick. I’m not saying that you should ignore bad behavior (of which there is none in this case anyways), I’m saying love helps you to see the good in the other person.
4. Real love is appreciation. If you really love someone, you are truly grateful for them. You appreciate everything they do for you – big and small. Your partner takes out the trash? Be grateful. Your partner is quick to offer a word of support when things get rough? Be grateful.
5. Speaking of appreciation, love makes you want to do little things for your partner. When I was at the bridal shower months ago and Michelle had left out her scrapbook for everyone to see, I saw all these notes and sweet pictures and ticket stubs. Acts of love don’t have to be over the top. Leaving little love notes every so often can be enough to show someone you care.
6. Real love spreads to everyone around you. Have you ever been around a couple who loves each other so much that you can’t help but be happy looking at how happy they are? Real love makes you and everyone around you better people.

I’m so happy I got to be a part of their special day. Their vows, which they wrote themselves, were absolutely amazing and had a few people crying. (You could say I stole stuff from their vows and reworded it for your sakes…) After tearing up a few times during my toast, I was able to share just how much they both mean to me. If you want to read more and see better wedding photos (because none of these are mine, and I feel weird posting other people’s photos…), then check out Tape, Glitter, and Glue . It was a beautiful day, and I know they will always be so happy together! Congrats to the new couple and much love to you all! Happy hump day!

A Lesson in Forgiveness…

God damn, forgiveness is hard.  Like really hard.  Like really flippin’ hard.  Now, I wouldn’t consider myself a grudge holder, I generally let small stuff go.  I may cry and/or scream, but then it’s over pretty quick.  When someone really really hurts me? Oh Good Lord, it’s like World War 3.  I will keep all that shit as ammunition for our next fight.  I will use all the things that have hurt me to build this wall, so I can be like, “Haha, bitches! Go ahead, try and get in!  People not allowed!”  So forgiveness?  It’s a major work in progress.

I’m about to get real.  Like even real-er than admitting I hold onto stuff… I’m about to get real about the situation that has forced this lesson in forgiveness on me.  So there’s this relationship.  I didn’t want any part of it to begin with.  I used to avoid this person like the plague.  A mutual “friend” purposely pushed him on me.  She didn’t want him hanging around her and talking about me, so she just pushed him on me.  I fought it still.  Until…he said something, and it was something stupid and small, but it struck a nerve.  And when I became upset, I knew that he was getting to me.  So you know that wall I was talking about above, well I’ve been working on that mother*er for years now, but he kept trying to get in!  Like he was relentless.  He was all up in my business, which I don’t allow anyone to do.  And then…I didn’t mind having him around.  As a matter of fact, I liked it.  Sounds pretty awesome, right? Just wait…

So, feelings developed – mutual feelings, like sincere care and even love.  And then?  Well, then my heart was broken when he told me we couldn’t be together.  I was kinda like, “Motherf*er – you just scaled that wall to tell me it’s never gonna happen?! Are you for real right now?!”  If you couldn’t tell, I got angry.  I was hurt, but more than that, I was angry.  But wait, that was just the beginning.

So, I think we tried to be friends…that didn’t work so well.  We fell back to the same cycle where it was like he cared but then didn’t.  I wanted him in my life, but then I didn’t.  And then of course, I’ve got this mutual “friend” in my ear telling me she’s never seen him so upset as when we weren’t talking and that he worries about me and cares about me and would do anything for me.  Guess what happened?  I flipped shit.  I flipped shit on him and her.  I let my anger and temper get the best of me, and I just let it out.  I let them know just how angry and hurt I was.  And then?

Ah, and then…so, as I said, I flipped shit.  I let him know it wasn’t okay, and I let this friend know it wasn’t okay for her to add fuel to the fire.  So what happened? I started to feel ignored.  Like not being talked to at all.  Not being consulted on stuff that involved me.  Not even being asked how I was.  Now, I should add in his defense, that this mutual “friend” had done some serious damage in my life and spread awful rumors, and I warned him of this and told him to watch himself because if she did it to me, she would have no problems dragging him down (we had had quite a few fights when she started saying awful things about him in the past).  Part of my warning included not talking to her about me and being careful who saw us talking.  So it’s kinda, but not quite, an excuse for completely and totally not talking to me, but I was still hurt, like really really hurt.  And when I get hurt, it morphs into serious anger and finger pointing.  And then? (Do you see a pattern?  Can you tell what’s going to happen next?)

I worked hard on trying to forgive him, and I thought I had.  But then…I tried to share my feelings.  I tried to say goodbye.  And I got nothing in response.  Crickets.  Oh sweet Jesus.  Heart break.  I had said to him that I didn’t expected anything in return, but maybe I at least expected a “goodbye”, something to show me that he got it.  But nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Not even a note or message on my birthday.  This heart break was devastating.  Tears, there were lots of tears.  More ammunition…

And then? No, there was not more anger, just the same anger that had built up and built up and built up.  So what’s my point? Have I clearly painted myself as the victim and he as the villain? No, no, no, that wasn’t my intention, nor is that the truth.  And quite frankly, if you’d heard some of the stuff that’s come out of my mouth, you’d know that I ain’t no victim.  This hurt and pain and anger has built up for so long.  Sometimes you just get to the point where you can’t hold onto it anymore.  Sometimes you want to get rid of it, but you don’t know what to do.

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I still care for this man, and I always will, but I can’t keep all this with me.  You get to the point where you realize you can’t do it on your own.  You get to the point where you offer that shit up to God, and honestly, that’s the best thing you can do.  I can’t tell you how hard I’ve prayed to ask God to help me forgive him.  When there’s pain that just seems to hang out, you need someone stronger than you to help you out.  I know I won’t forget it, but I can’t keep holding onto it, which brings me to my next point…

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I love this quote from Gabby Bernstein because it’s the truth.  This may sound crazy, but I’m starting to become grateful for the whole situation.  He pushed buttons I didn’t even know I had, he ripped me apart until I was raw.  I don’t think I’ve been hurt so badly by anyone ever, and maybe it’s because of how much I care – they say that those we love the most are the ones who have the most power to hurt us.  But ya know what?  I’ve learned so much and have grown so much.  You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge, and I had to take a look at a whole lotta crap from this situation.

Have I completely forgiven? I’m trying!  Just like I’m working on my temper (although after my road-rage incident in Maryland a couple weeks ago, I dunno…), I’m working on letting this hurt go.  Like I said, it gets to the point that you realize you can’t hold onto it anymore.  Hopefully if you’re experiencing any kind of relationship turbulence, this helps give you some direction to get to that forgiveness piece.  Always remember that everything happens for a reason – it’s either a blessing or a lesson!  Speaking of blessings, I couldn’t end this on too serious a note…

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He’s my furry blessing and lesson! (Barfy cat – I never leave my bedroom in the morning without turning on a light to make sure I don’t step in any gross kitty land mines.)  When things get tough, sometimes this not-so-little guy just seems to know when I need an extra laugh, juggle, or sand-paper kitty kiss.

Well that’s all I got.  I got real, and now I got nothing left!  I hope everyone had a great day! Much love!!!

#TBT – Short hair and a worthy cause…

So as the bestie and I were driving down to Maryland, one of the things we had talked about was hair.  She’s getting married in a smidge over a week, and so she’s been growing out her hair for the big day.  I’ve just been growing out my hair for the heck of it.  Now, both of us are dying to get our hair cut but neither one of us is going to waste our incredibly thick hair, so we were both talking about donating it to www.locksoflove.org/donate.html (click on the link for more info!).  If you don’t know too much about this organization, they take hair donations and create wigs for children suffering from long-term medical hair loss.  They do have a few rules like bleached hair can’t be used for wigs (but still can be donated – read the website for more info) and even if your hair is layered, your longest layer needs to be at least 10 inches long.  That’s about this much hair…

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Ok, so at this point, I would just barely make it, so I may have to grow it a little longer before  I do this…

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Haha! Just kidding! Peggy’s going to do that part when it’s time!  Along with needing at least 10 inches, you can go to any hairdresser or stylist as long as the hair is put in a ponytail before being cut and then kept that way afterwards.

Anyways, I’m pretty pumped that my hair could go to a very excellent cause.  People are always saying how thick and healthy my hair is, so there is no way that I’m just going to let it get thrown out when I could be helping out a little kid.  I had this brilliant idea that I should become like a one-woman-wig-making factory and just keep growing, cutting, and donating, but we’ll see how that goes…

So thinking about donating this hair has gotten me to thinking about how short I’m going to go, and that’s where the Throwback Thursday comes in.  I’ve been known for changing my hair and trying just about anything.  I’ve gone red, I’ve gone blackish, I’ve gone blue (that was a total accident).  I’ve done bobs and layers, and this is probably the longest I’ve had it.  I have had it quite short, too…

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This was at little Sweet Pea’s baptism, and this was actually when it was growing out.  That means that this was longer compared to what it was (I know, right?!).  I would probably willingly go this short, again, but I’ve gone even shorter…

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These are both from when my niece was born – how tiny was this little peanut?! So sweet! This was still in a growing out phase.

And the shortest I’ve ever had it…

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I called it the Rosemary’s Baby haircut.  I brought my Peggy a picture of Mia Farrow in the movie (I absolutely love her hair in it), and she cut it…all…off…  Now, since my hair is so darn thick, it didn’t lay as flat as Ms. Farrow’s, but it definitely had the shortness!

Ch-ch-changes…  I’m not sure if I’m ready to go this short again, but I do know that I will be donating this heavy mop of hair to some children in need.  Want to see some more photos that I didn’t post here? Check out my Facebook page, Instagram, and Twitter!

Happy Thursday – only one more day until the weekend!  Much love!

A most awesome birthday weekend…

Let me just start off by saying that I had a great weekend – if this is how 30 feels, this ain’t so bad!  I don’t even know where to begin, this weekend seemed to have so much packed into just two days.  So let’s start at the beginning…

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I was spoiled rotten… There was a bagel waiting for me when I got to my parents’ house, and yes, my mama definitely made me some wine slushies…

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After the feeling returned to my lips (alcohol sometimes makes my lips go numb), we did watch The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug which was a very well made movie (although not enough like the book).  My sweet little niece, who sometimes cries when she sees me, actually let me braid her hair.  And my sweet little Francis Bear gave me lots of hugs and kisses (which is exactly what I asked for!).  After a homemade dinner of my choice, my mother brought out the cake!  My cake with all the candles lit, as my family was quick to point out, almost looked like a giant ball of flame and could have easily burnt down the house…
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I also was told how difficult it was to fit all the candles on my cake…

People also hooked me up with some pretty awesome gifts.  Scarves and jewelry and all sorts of beautiful awesomeness.  I love how my sister lets my niece and nephew pick out exactly what they want to give me.  They’ve gotten me all sorts of nifty things over the years,and this year was no different.  Sparkly and funky nail polish? Yup.  Some beautiful flower hair pins?  Heck yeah.  And then, I opened this… (these kids know me too well..)
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Stuff to keep my teeth all clean and healthy and white?! I think they were so excited to see that I was so excited… Life is good…

But no, no…the weekend did not end there.  As I sat on my couch finishing my tea at 7:30am, I got a phone call.  It was the bestie.  I panicked thinking that on her way down her car had had some kind of issue (yes, it was so early but I wanted to make sure we had enough time to explore in Maryland!).  As I picked up, she sounded surprisingly chipper as she told me she was on her way…  And then she went on to say she had forgotten my birthday present and asked if I wanted her to turn around to go and get it.  I just laughed.  She then said something to the likes of, “I did get you one, I swear!”  It’s cool, though.  The fact that she was up and driving that early and sounded excited/happy?  Totally cool.

So we get on the road on our way to Annapolis.  It’s never dull.  We started to reminisce.  I forget exactly how we got on the topic, but we talked about my good friend from AC, Drunk Dave, and that perhaps it would help if she were sober when trying to set me up.  Then we got onto the subject of this one guy that I went out with years ago and what a whackadoodle he was.  I had completely forgotten that I had started a blog a loooooong time ago and had written a couple posts on my misadventures in dating.  35 calls in one week, randomly and awkwardly singing show tunes to me,  and skipping your 95 year old grandfather’s birthday party to go to dinner with me?  Holy crap…

So after getting lost (my GPS lies to me and roundabouts confuse the crap out of me), we finally find a parking space.  Let me just tell you that parking was an adventure in itself.  So we didn’t find out until we got down there that Race Across America was in Annapolis that weekend, oh yeah, and all the plebes were entering the Naval Academy…  Oh…my…Lord…I think we drove around this same tiny parking lot at least 6 times when we had to park the second time – it took at least a half hour to find a spot.  (I don’t do street parking on those tiny streets, and even the parking garages were full.)  So we finally find someone pulling out, and I quick put my blinker on.  I had not so slowly been losing my patience, and the bestie was having a good laugh at my antics.  The people who were leaving had to first get their like 20 kids in the car (okay, so maybe not 20, but more and more kids just kept getting in the car…we lost count after a little while) but were kind enough to let me pull in right after they have backed out.  Well some jerk tried to go around this guy (I don’t know if it was to get in the spot or what), and I having learned how to drive from my father, (yikes, he’s a NY driver!),  laid on the horn and started yelling and gesturing as I pulled into my spot.  Well, we parked right up against the dock, and so I had an audience…  Completely embarrassing… I’d like to say I’m working on my temper, but I’m beginning to think it’s like Tourettes…

And so we embarked…  I love going down there – the cobblestone streets and all the history and being by the water.  And what’s funner???? (Yes, I know that’s not grammatically correct, I’m using my poetic license…)  When the bestie and I shop together!  And why is that?  How about because of this…
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Maryland is known for their crabs, so where else can you find a slammin’ crab hat?  And that shirt is the shit.  It says: “Lucky’s Crab House, where you can get more than just crabs”.  (Hehehe)  Oh yes, Michelle and I now own our own Lucky’s Crab House shirts in pink…  The crab hat, though?  Um, I’m not sure if I want to admit this, but I already have one…

Shopping is hard work, so we had to take a food break.  We needed some real nourishment, something to sustain us as we continued an afternoon of shopping and touring.  So what did we get?
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That, my dear friends, is a ginormous snicker doodle dipped in chocolate.  It was…AWESOME.  (Although I gotta say, I was made some homemade ones last year that were even better…)  I think Michelle really really enjoyed hers…
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As we were sitting enjoying our cookies, we began to notice that Annapolis-ites have a serious staring problem.  We’re just sitting on the bench, minding our own business, and people are walking by and are hardcore staring.  Now, I know I’m paranoid, but when Michelle says that they are, then you know that people are definitely staring…  So then, logically, we decided to take a selfie, and it was decided that they must be staring because we’re just so gosh darn cute!

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Crab hats and cookies and getting Lucky’s is all good and well, but you can’t go down to Annapolis without visiting the Naval Academy!  We totally tried to park at the actual Naval Academy, but the guard told us visitors weren’t allowed to park there and even my snicker-doodle-created-poop-tooth smile couldn’t sweet talk us into parking there (yeah, I had some of that chocolate stuck in between my teeth – ah, the hazards of being a chocolate lover!).  So we parked (horns and me embarrassing us and all) and walked over.  This is when we really figured out that all the plebes were moving in.  There were families touring and so many young men carrying all their crap and their dress whites passing us.  I was a smidge disappointed.  A man in dress whites? Holy Moses – I melt like buttah.  A little boy in dress whites?  Ruins it for me…  Michelle and I both made the comment as groups of these guys were walking by us, “They look like babies!”  And I’m pretty sure we might have made this exact comment…
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So we finally made it through the metal detector and got our licenses back (yeah, it was intense) after one of the officers pawed through my bag – like literally, and while he asked to, he totally went all out and was picking things up, poking around in all my pockets.  I should have just dumped it all out for him, it would have been quicker.  Okay, so they let us loose on the grounds, and we started walking.  Now, the Naval Academy has some importance for my family.  My mother is originally from that area, my father is a Naval Academy alumni, and they were married at the chapel, which is where Michelle and I headed to first.
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When Michelle heard that my parents were married there, she really wanted me to take a picture in there…
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And then she said I should send it to my mother and told her I found a nice man (yeah, right, on plebes weekend) and got hitched… Going to chapel, but I’m not getting married!! Yeah, no…  So then we decided a selfie was necessary with the stain glass window in the background…

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Not so easy.  After a snort (yeah, that was me), some crouching to fit us both in, and disturbing the tour group in the back of the chapel, we got it.  Another memento of our crazy day.

After our too brief tour, we decided to hit the road and get some seafood at one of the best restaurants in Maryland – the Crab Deck.  So we hauled ass over the Bay Bridge (I’m good with bridges, but I started to get a little shaky when I couldn’t see the end of it!) and had some great food by the water!

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Well, the Crab Deck has a marketplace where you can buy crabs and other seafood to take home.  My dad, who took a lot of business trips to Maryland, would always stop at this marketplace on his way home to buy my mom some hardshell crabs.  So I’m all like, “Ooh, Ma would probably enjoy if I brought her back some crabs.”  I had no clue how to go about picking/ordering/buying said crabs.  So what happened?  I end up looking like a schmuck to the kid at the counter as I proceed to let him know that I have no idea what to do… but that my dad always got my mom crabs here… and I want crabs, too… He just looked at me for a minute.  I doubt that anyone has ever gone in there to say that the whole family likes to get crabs from them (hehehe), and neither one of us was quite sure what was going on.  It’s cool though, I ended up getting my mom a cooler full of crabs for her to enjoy!

On the way home, we had a great talk.  Turning 30 has made me look back on some things and visiting Annapolis brought some things to the forefront.  When I had graduated from college, I interviewed down in Anne Arundel county in Maryland (that’s the county Annapolis is in).  The director of education for the county had told me he loved interviewing me and was bound and determined to get me a job working in his county.  I was shortly after offered a position and even met my would-be grade partners.  I was offered a teaching position in a public school right out of college, and back then, I was young enough to be looking at some of the older Naval Academy guys.  Anyways, I turned down the position.  I was holding out for NY, and my dad seemed very upset at the thought of me moving to Maryland.  So, as the bestie and I were driving back home, I started thinking about how different things could have been, especially after this year.  If I had gone to Annapolis, would I still be teaching?  Would I have gotten as burned by a coworker whom I considered a close friend?  Would I have gotten my heart broken so badly?  As I shared this with Michelle, she gently reminded me that I couldn’t change it.  And – get ready, there’s a serious lesson here! – I realized that looking backwards is never helpful, and it’s about time for me to start looking forward.

Bam! There you go, some good stories and ending an amazing weekend with a beautiful lesson.  I hope your weekends were just as great! Much love, and happy Monday!

Flashback Friday AND It’s my birthday weekend b*tches!

Ha, my birthday weekend has begun! I will be the big 3-0 tomorrow, and I’m kinda excited.  So as I was planning to do a post sharing my birthday plans, I realized it’s a Friday, meaning it’s a Flashback Friday.  And so, I have combined both topics into one rather amusing post (or at least I think it is).  And so, here are my plans for my fabulous birthday weekend as illustrated through some very, very old (remember I’m turning 30) birthday photos…

Shall there be bagels?

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Ay, there shall be!  Any good birthday needs to start off on the right foot, and the right foot always means some good old fashioned carbs and coffee!  My mother has already bargained to get me some Dunkin Donuts to get me over to their house nice and early tomorrow…

Will there be a pretty dress for the birthday girl?

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Um…yeah? Duh!  It’s always a good plan to look your best on your big day – you made it another year, that’s a reason to celebrate!  Although it may not be a dress…I haven’t decided yet.  One thing I do know is that I will be looking as fine as I did on this day a loooong time ago.

Will there be crazy straw hats?

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Only if they are filtering down some wine slushies!  Yes, the only way I will wear anything like that is if it is serving me my previously requested (and I’m not even kidding about requesting these) wine slushies.

Once we’re good and liquored up, what shall we replace our straw hats with?

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There better be some wicked awesome party hats… Who doesn’t love Big Bird???

Will there be hugs and kisses for the birthday girl?

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There frickin better be! I want some love!

Will I make trouble? Hehehe…

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Look at that face – what do you think?  I’m pretty sure it’s a rule that you can’t get into trouble on your birthday, meaning I’ll probably try to get away with anything and everything…

Will I cry if I don’t get my way?

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Hey, it’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to…

Will there be presents?

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Yes, and you may lay them down next to me because…

Will there be napping?

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Of course! Naps happen on regular days as it is.  My nap is planned for after watching The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (because I’m just that much of a dork to be obsessed with the series)…

And if you should try to put a monkey wrench in my plans (and perhaps try to prevent me from watching the aforementioned cinematic masterpiece), shall I flip you off?

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Darn tootin’.

And of course, we are forgetting a very important question – will there be cake?

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Yes, there will be!  And if I should find that I’m unable to enjoy my cake as much as I want to without getting messy then you can bet your bippy I’ll don my birthday suit once again…

Will I share all these goodies?

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Only if I like you…

And what will happen after all this celebrating with cake, presents, and wine slushies?

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Pass out with my mouth open and one eye closed and one open?  Um…yeah, probably…

Woohoo!  I made it another year, and I plan to celebrate.  Part deux, a.k.a. Sunday, of my birthday weekend will be spent with the bestie road tripping, buying matching t-shirts, and probably more wine slushies by the water in Annapolis… And part trois? Oh yes, since this is our big year (although she’s quick to point out that I get to experience it first), we’ll have a big celebration with all of our friends a little later…hopefully in AC…there’s more trouble to make…

Happy Friday everyone, and have a great weekend! Much love!

 

 

 

Throwback Thursday – it all started with a pin…

Did you know that you can send pins to people on Pinterest?  While I’ve known this for a while, the bestie and I have recently taken to sending each other pins that speak to both of us (like one day when she sent me a pin of a shirtless hot guy holding a puppy…it makes you forget all your other problems).  So within the past week, she sent me this pin…

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And I was like, “Oh my God!  That’s us!”  I just started laughing realizing that she’s the cool one rocking the sunglasses, and I’m always that chick on the right making a funny face holding the lemon and toothbrush…  Now I’m sure you’re saying, “Jenny, come on now, I’m sure that’s not true! You can’t always look ridiculous!”  Au contraire mon ami!  I got rid of my old desktop and laptop this week (and got a MacBook Air – I’m in love!) and found proof…

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Awwww, Michelle looks so cute! Wait, where the hell am I looking?  Great eye contact, Jenny, great eye contact…

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Great post, Michelle!  You’re all like, “Ta da! I’m so cute!”  And once again, I’m left asking myself, “What the hell?”  Maybe I was going for the, “I’m toight, toight like a tiger, you can see that from my toight pants!” (Austin Powers movie reference, kudos if you caught it!)

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In my defense, I was posing after a few cocktails…

And last, but never least…

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Okay, so a) I may have shared this before, I can’t remember, and b) the boots and my face just make the outfit.  Michelle’s rocking the princess dress, and I’m all like whoa-country-hooker-prom-queen.

You know what else is funny?  I’m always on the right…just like the lemon-toothbrush-crazy face…

Ahh…memories!  Even with all the crazy embarrassing pictures, I enjoy these pictures because it reminds me of all the good times with the bestie and that there’s more to come.

So are you the cool friend or are you more like me?  Ya know what would be great?  To share some of these photos on Facebook and either post them on my page (www.facebook.com/irreverentglam) or tag me!  Happy Throwback Thursday everyone! Much love!

I don’t think I’m qualified to do Whoops-a-Daisy posts anymore…

It is a Wednesday, and that means that I should have a new Whoops-a-Daisy post, but…  I knowingly and willingly walked out of the house today looking a hot mess.  It’s pretty bad.  That’s why I don’t think I’m qualified to be doing these kinds of posts anymore.  The whole purpose of sharing whoops-a-daisies is so that people, including myself, don’t make them… Ugh..

Broken Rule #1 – Leggings are NOT pants…

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Yup, that would be a pants-less me in leggings and a t-shirt.  I’m such a kvetcher about how people wear these skimpy leggings which are essentially tights, and yet, that’s what I’m rocking today.  What’s even worse?  The only time you can wear leggings with just a top is if the top covers your derriere…

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Yup, my shirt clearly does not cover my butt.  What a rule to break.

Broken Rule #2 – Wearing Sandals = Pedicured Toes

Ok, so in my defense, while I am not wearing nail polish, my feet are not disgusting.  I’m always clean and filed.  And while I have said in the past that I never wear sandals at all if my nails aren’t done, never say never…

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Broken Rule #3 – Hair Issues

I don’t even know what to classify this as.  This whole long hair thing is becoming more and more challenging.  As I was going to get ready this morning, I found a price tag in my hair? Yeah, I dunno.  It wasn’t there last night when I showered, and my hair was up all morning.  The aftermath of that rascally price tag?

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Can I just say it hurt like a mofo?  I’ve just got all sorts of hair issues today…

Broken Rule #4 – No makeup at all

Apparently I’m going just about as natural as I can go today…

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That, by the way, is my “I don’t even know what to say” face, and that just about sums it all up.

So what’s with the massive mash-up of whoops-a-daisies today?  Ever since leaving my job last Friday, things have been crazy.  My fresh start pretty much started like this…

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And has gone on to include massive amounts of sleep (like 4 hour-long naps in one day after sleeping ten hours) and just not feeling myself just yet.  One of my many health professionals warned me that my body has been under so much stress for so long, that it’s going to take a few weeks to feel 100% myself.  I was all like, “Yeah, right! Psh, I just need sleep!” until this morning.

Ah, well here’s to fresh starts and less purposely made whoops-a-daisies!  Happy hump day everyone!  Much love!

That was one heck of a bachelorette weekend…

Holy crap – what a weekend! So I tried to plan a fabulous bachelorette weekend, and I’ll be darned if we didn’t execute that plan (and more) to the fullest! I don’t even know where to begin. So let’s begin at the beginning and go through some do’s and don’t’s of having a great bachelorette party…

So I definitely ran out of work to pick up the bride-to-be so we could get down to Atlantic City ASAP. It took us over 3 hours to make it down due to my GPS taking us through Philly and then we hit rush hour and shore traffic. It’s all good though, because I had created a “Bachelorette Weekend” playlist on Spotify. So what was on this playlist? Some Pink, Def Leppard, Sir Mix-a-Lot, and it wouldn’t be fit to be played if it didn’t include “Sexy Back” and “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”.
DO get the weekend started off right with a wicked awesome playlist.

So we get to the hotel…or so I thought. We pull into the parking garage, grab our 50 pound bags (like literally, my shoulder is still bruised), and trudged through the casino and to the check-in desk. I give her my name, all excited to finally be there, and then…she tells me they don’t have a reservation for me. Uh oh! So I pull out my confirmation receipt and…sweet Jesus, we went to the wrong Trump hotel… How embarrassing! So we grab our 50 pound bags AGAIN and trudge back to the car to drive to our actual hotel.
DON’T forget to check your confirmation e-mail to make sure you know which hotel you’re actually going to.

So we get there, and we are STARVING. We had tried to stop at a Roy Rogers on the way down but stupid Jersey put the exit on the left, and I missed it. Anyways, we fill up at Nathan’s before heading out.
DO eat before a night of debauchery.

If it’s a bachelorette party, then you need to make sure that the bride stands out, whether she wants to or not. How is she supposed to do that? With crowns, sashes, and buttons, of course!
DO go all out if you’re the bride.
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Ah, a night of debauchery! I can honestly say that whileI drank A LOT, I was at no point completely wasted (go ahead, be proud). We strolled the boardwalk starting at the Hard Rock Cafe and worked our way back to our hotel. We did shots, we drank out of shot glass rings, and because I was slightly inebriated (but never completed wasted) and brought my shot ring into the bathroom, I was teased about my “pee ring” for the rest of the night (which I did not drink from again after realizing I had brought it into the bathroom).
DON’T bring anything into the bathroom that you are planning to drink out of…

So we tried to talk one of our party members into riding the bull at the Wild, Wild West. Well, she ended up not doing it. But the bar wasn’t a bust – why, you ask? Well, we met this creepy bachelor party that kept following us because our lovely bride-to-be was completely inebriated and kept telling people where we were going.
DO be careful who you share your plans with. The whole weekend seemed like we kept getting these creepy bachelor parties following us…

And then, we met…Dave. Oh Dave. My friends in their drunken state thought it imperative to find me a man. Well my friends met this one and decided that since he’s from the same area as me that it must be an instant love connection. Well, Dave, according to my friends, was smitten, and so he ended up following us back to the bar across from our hotel…and then into the restaurant in our hotel (where he ordered a pizza that he didn’t eat), and then… Once again, I would like to reiterate that I was not drunk. Two out of the four of us, though, were pretty bad off. And so when I tried to say that it was time to go, my friends invited him up to the room…
DON’T invite a strange man up to your room even if it’s four of you and one of him. AND DON’T pull a Drunk Dave and do this…

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Dave apparently drank more than we though. So first, he laid on my cot as I went to the bathroom. Then he proceeded to roll right off the bed… I came out of the bathroom to find him not moving. We started to panic so I poked him to see if he was responsive. He mumbled something, put one arm up on he side of my bed, and passed out…again… You can tell by my expression that we did not want to deal with this. We grabbed his phone, tried to get his friend to come pick him up (who refused), and then made my friend kick him out since she invited him up. Well, when he didn’t respond to his phone being thrown at him, my friend decided to start yelling his name and telling him he needed to go. The rest of us tried to play possum, eyes shut, not responding, while Sammi bolted the door after him. It wasn’t until he was in the room and passed out that someone remarked that maybe he was like a serial killer and shouldn’t be in our room…
DON’T invite strange men into your room… I had to say it again just because…

So we fell asleep at 6 in the morning and woke up at like 8:30/9… What better way to deal with a hangover/crazy night than to take a nap on the beach, read some magazines, and build a sand castle/mountain/volcano…
DO sleep it off…somehwere… Fresh air, some waves, and sand really do the trick.

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After getting sand and salt water in places they don’t belong, it was time to wash up and get ready for a night out. After everyone got gussied up, we headed to the casino (isn’t that what AC is for?). We all felt so good (partially because we were all done up and partly because the bartender made our drinks a little strong…) and decided to take a group shot. Apparently, you’re not supposed to take pictures in the casino! Go figure! The security guard was nice enough to walk really slow to come tell us just so we could get the shot in.
DON’T take pictures in the casino. Or, try to take them really really fast before you get caught.

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After that was dinner, some willie straws, some alcoholic slushies, and back to the Wild, Wild West. No one was up for riding the bull, and so we ended up playing beer pong. I somehow got paired up with the person who doesn’t drink beer, but it’s cool. We met another bachelor party that everyone seemed to like, and we started hanging with them. Our lovely bride-to-be decided that we all needed to stay out forever. Well, a few of our party members were exhausted, and so while I ran her back to hotel, they went to the bar across from the hotel again. When I came back, my well-meaning friends decided that since Drunk Dave didn’t work out that I needed a new “love connection”. Good grief! While everyone was partying and dancing, I got stuck with this guy who was trying to get handsy and wouldn’t let me go. Even me mouthing “help” wasn’t enough to get their attention… While, I ended up getting rid of my octupus-like Navy SEAL friend…
DON’T think you need to set up your single friends. If we don’t ask for it, we don’t want it…

We ended the weekend on a high note with some sleep, a tiny bit of souvenir shopping (shopping surprisingly isn’t as much fun when you’re hungover), and some ginormous strawberry pancakes…
DO start a weekend of drinking with food, and you should end it with food, too.

All in all, one of the best weekends…EVER! While I don’t think I’ll be drinking for a long time, the memories will stay with me forever. Best way to celebrate with some of my best friends!

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Hope your weekends were as good as mine! Much love to you all!